My brain has a big mouth


Even during the most riveting conversations of my life, my attention span is limited. My brain wanders. Often it surprises me with random internal blurbs that even I didn’t see coming—especially at work.

Random brain blurbs that are sometimes hard to keep inside my head during presentations at work

Do zombies poop?

Is there a limit to how long fingernails can grow?

Holy crap, is that a typo!! Just dust? Okay.

Somewhere, someone is named An Igma.

What’ll happen to all the ghosts when the world ends?

Can ghosts get to choose where to haunt?

Am I being haunted right now?

Are you sure that’s not a typo?

What if there really is a hamster in my brain?

Has anyone else’s brain just checked out?

Crap! That is a typo!

How long is standard sloth fur?

Who first looked at an oyster and thought “yummy”?

Someone in this room doesn’t like me.

I hope my doppelganger is living a good life.

In an alternative universe, I’ll bet there’s a version of me that’s made out of glitter. Or cotton candy.

Are aliens are looking down at us and laughing?

How much would my husband pay me to eat a pound of wasabi?

How long will it take other people to see my typo?

Where does the word ‘zombie’ come from, anyway?

Sugar, Sugar, cocoa puff. Sugar, Sugar pie.

Has anyone ever memorized all of the lyrics to Amazing Grace?

Yes! My typo flew under the radar! Wait, does that mean no one reads this stuff?

And these are when I’m giving the presentation. Secret confessions of friends and colleagues show that I’m not alone in this struggle.

Neither are you.

6 thoughts on “My brain has a big mouth”

  1. Because we release words into the world, we can get obsessive about typos, so I feel ya. I read and read and read, and then read it out loud, and then read it backwards and still have damn typos. Of course everyone sees them and thinks I am stooooooopid.

    1. I print out hard copies and read through them, word by word, tapping a pen or pencil underneath each syllable as I go. And still, typos crop their ugly little heads up sometime.

      We aren’t stupid. Typos are just that stealthy.

  2. When I was a classroom teacher, I used to ask my students, “Is your brain such an uninteresting place that you have to spend every spare minute staring at your phone?” Like you, my brain is a much more bizarre and random place than anything the internet can provide!

    1. AND your brain can say things inside that you don’t dare release into the world. It’s a safe zone, mostly…hopefully…usually…?

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