Even during the most riveting conversations of my life, my attention span is limited. My brain wanders. Often it surprises me with random internal blurbs that even I didn’t see coming—especially at work.
Random brain blurbs that are sometimes hard to keep inside my head during presentations at work
Do zombies poop?
Is there a limit to how long fingernails can grow?
Holy crap, is that a typo!! Just dust? Okay.
Somewhere, someone is named An Igma.
What’ll happen to all the ghosts when the world ends?
Can ghosts get to choose where to haunt?
Am I being haunted right now?
Are you sure that’s not a typo?
What if there really is a hamster in my brain?
Has anyone else’s brain just checked out?
Crap! That is a typo!
How long is standard sloth fur?
Who first looked at an oyster and thought “yummy”?
Someone in this room doesn’t like me.
I hope my doppelganger is living a good life.
In an alternative universe, I’ll bet there’s a version of me that’s made out of glitter. Or cotton candy.
Are aliens are looking down at us and laughing?
How much would my husband pay me to eat a pound of wasabi?
How long will it take other people to see my typo?
Where does the word ‘zombie’ come from, anyway?
Sugar, Sugar, cocoa puff. Sugar, Sugar pie.
Has anyone ever memorized all of the lyrics to Amazing Grace?
Yes! My typo flew under the radar! Wait, does that mean no one reads this stuff?
And these are when I’m giving the presentation. Secret confessions of friends and colleagues show that I’m not alone in this struggle.
Neither are you.